On Losing My Appetite, and Depth

It’s hard keeping up a food blog when every attempt I make to cook something ends in a nervous breakdown. There’s this moment that happens every time the food ends up sucky (which is 98% of): I sit on the couch for the good part of an hour, refusing to eat, up until D gently tells me that next time, I just need to not lose my shit in the kitchen, and do I want my favorite liver from the isawan outside to offset the film of Sadness coating my tongue?

I mean, I knew I would suck, but I didn’t expect my ability to document weekly failures to dwindle the way it had. I used to be good at this! I used to be good at sucking in public! Maybe it’s because it’s food I’m talking about, and wasting precious victuals is a far more shameful topic than, say, menstrual cramps (which I just realized I used to write about with great frequency and attention to detail; sorry about that).

I mostly eat eggs now, because they’re hard to fuck up. I especially like making eggs-in-a-basket, where you fry an egg inside a hollowed-out piece of bread. I first saw it in V for Vendetta and never got over it. (It’s an egg! And it’s part of the bread!!!) I realize doing so doesn’t make it very different from just frying both separately and eating them together, but it is adowabol.

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I know this is old hat already, but I can’t get over the latest Walang Tawiran May Namatay Na Dito‘s all over the city. I know they’re not purposedly marking the exact spots where people flipped the bird on logic, crossed the road and died, but they very well could be, as no specific dates have been indicated. Someone or something must have died on that spot sometime in the course of history.

That being said,  any spot, for that matter, can bring about death. And since the MMDA has decreed that we should not cross  such perilous paths for the sake of our personal safety, we are just meant to stay in the exact spot where we finally realized the true, staggering nature of these signs, wait out the rest of our lives without moving, and die. It’s like, you know, life. That is totally deep, MMDA.