You Put the ‘Tigas’ in Ortigas

30 07 2010

So I was plodding down Ortigas Ave. this morning, just my usual walk to McDonald’s for a longganisa meal and 30-min. space-out prior to work, when I saw this pile of trash in the middle of the street and thought, Heehee. That thing over there looks like a penis.

AND IT WAS.

Or, rather, it was a very veiny, beige vibrator. Just there, intact, in the middle of the street. And that’s when I noticed that the other pieces of trash surrounding it were, in fact, sundry sexual accoutrements, mainly of the motorized phallus variety, and my brain just exploded. The stuff was swimming in this muck flecked with bits of cardboard and plastic. The world felt so dystopian all of a sudden, as if The Government had decreed a ban on all pleasure, and what I had just seen were the dregs of its clean-up drive. It was so fucked up. It was AWESOME.

The other people crossing the street didn’t seem to notice the penises, or maybe they did and just pretended that everything was cool, when deep inside they were convinced apocalypse was nigh. I was ecstatic, though. I was hoping to take a picture with my phone, but the penises were in the middle of a busy street, and I wasn’t about to risk my life for cock. At least not today.

I wish I had evidence, though, because I’m pretty sure some of you are thinking, Oh, it’s just her talking about private parts again. She thinks of penises so much, she sees them everywhere, poor thing. But I swear they’re there. If any of you happen to be anywhere near the driveway of the Galleria Regency, go to the nearby pedestrian crossing right along Ortigas Ave. I swear they’re there. I’m not shitting anyone. Go, quick, before the trannies start their harvest.

Seriously, though. What the hell happened last night? Did pornstar roommates have a falling out? Had a bridal shower gone sour? What?! Tell me!!! Oh god, oh god, what does it all mean?!?!

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2 responses

31 07 2010
kmfdm

you work at THAT ortigas ospital nga pala. lunch/dinner sometime? my salt mine is at san antonio vill

2 08 2010
Marguerite

Syur! Dinner’s better. Mahirap tumakas for lunch e. Sabihin mo lang pag libre ka.

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